Serenity Sunday

This week, Sunday was quite serene thankyouverymuch.

Coldest morning this year, it was. 

Even the butterflies froze solid.

For the most part the kids behaved: I pruned the grapevines, the kids behaved, I made a new advertising banner, the kids behaved, I cooked dinner, the kids beh...oh no they didn't behave for that bit.

 Hide and Seek, Felix style.

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My Creative Space is on Holidays

I've been busy all day and there is no time! no time! for My Creative Space this week.

9am: Get all excited because we have our first female Prime Minister. Realise am running late because of said excitement. Drop off 4 year old at Kindy, spend quality time playing with daughter socialising bitching at Playgroup, hurry to Rheumatologist appointment an hour's drive away, get horribly disillisioned at appointment, rush back to Kindy via Dan Murphy's (cheapo chain booze store) and Hungry Jacks (Burger King)  to pick up 4 year old, have 4 year olds Bestie come round and play and stay for dinner, get kids ready for bed, wrangle 4 year old away from his car pictures and into bed.

Now its 9pm and I dont feel particularly creative.  Perhaps a little spacey.  Even a little "My!"  So I'm not doing it.

According to Dr Rheumy, Disease Most Likely is not Ankylosing Spondylitis, but Fibromyalgia.  OK, its a name, but I didnt want to be told  "There is nothing we can do.  We just handball you back to the Pain Management Clinic."  I wanted to be told "You have disease X and you take these drugs and it will get better."

Seriously, sometimes you just have to wonder who the hell you were in a previous life.

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Disabled Parking Space

Today is an important day.  Not only because I'm off to my Rheumatologist to find out what the hell is actually wrong with me (disease most likely is Ankylosing Spondylitis), nor because today the petition I wrote about in my last post will be presented to our government.  Today is also important because it marks a BloggersUnite event called People First: Empowering People with Disabilities.  Today, people all over the world will be writing blog posts about the experiece of living with a disability (their own or a loved one's) in order to educate, empower and...um, another "e" thing... enable.

Actually, these three important events share a common ancestor, and that is this:

You can't tell just by looking.

You can't tell by looking at me that I have a disability.  You can't tell by looking that I have a spinal injury.  You can't tell by looking that I have nerve damage. You can't tell by looking at me that I have a mental illness.  You can't tell that I am in intense pain.  You can't tell that I struggle with debilitating anxiety at times.  You can't tell that I am so tired I feel it in every cell of my body and have for 20 years.  You can't tell that the demons from my past resurface again and again and again and affect me still, decades later.  You can't tell that some days I hate my life.  You can't tell that some days I want to die.  You can't tell that if I walk from here to there I will pay for it for days or sometimes weeks.

You can only see that I do walk from here to there.  You see me smile.  You see me talk intelligently to people.  You see me graduate from university. You see me start a business.  You see me create.  You see me move through the days like any other mother.  You see me as unremarkable.  You see me park in the disabled parking space, and you look.  And I know you look.  And I know what you think.

And I know that you are wrong.

I am remarkable.

I am remarkable because you see me smile, you see me talk inteligently to people, you see me start a business, you see me create, you see me move through the days like any other mother.  I am remarkable because those things happen despite what you dont see.

I am disabled.  I am also able.  The trick is finding the balance.

Not in my own mind, but in yours.

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Do It For My Mental Health

On Thursday, a collective of 60 mental health organisations form around Australia will be presenting a co-signed letter and a petition from Australian citizens to our PM.  They will be urging him and his government to act immediately to reform the mental health system in this country and provide it with enough funding to actually make it work.  Right now, it doesnt work at all.  People suffer.  People die.  I know this first hand.  

So I wrote a letter to my local MP.  Never done that before.  This time, I just had to.  So with tears streaming down my face, I wrote.  I'd like to share it with you.  And then I'd like you to go here and sign the petition. 

***

I come from a family with a history of mental illness. My mother suffered from severe depression for as long as I can remember. I have had anxiety and depression my entire life, not diagnosed until I was in my 20s (I'm now 41). One brother had schizophrenia. The other had severe and untreated depression.  Both of my brothers committed suicide at the age of 45, within two years of each other. They desperately needed help and they didnt get it because the proper services were not available. Warren, my brother with schizophrenia, was on a forced treatment order and suffering terribly with psychotic episodes and yet was released from hospital to "live in the community". He died in that community too, unnoticed for several days until he had not turned up for his required medication.

Mental ill-health is the leading killer of Australians under 45 (there's that magic number again!) and the leading cause of disability in Australia. It is not acceptable that people are turned away from hospitals, or that government funding for outreach services is either an embarrassing pittance or non-existant.

Does this government care that for each of those Australians that has a mental illness there are many more around them that suffer too? Does this government care that for every person who dies as a result of suicide, their families and friends continue to suffer and blame themselves?

Does this government care enough about its citizens to provide adequate funding for mental health services, so that other families do not have to explain to their children why the uncle whom they resemble so much isnt around anymore?

I urge you to support the efforts of the 60 mental health organisations who are presenting a letter to Kevin Rudd on Thurday. I urge you to support the immediate reform mental health services and increase funding.

I urge you to consider my 4 year old son - the one who looks so much like his uncle - who has a very high chance of living with mental illness himself. What future will this government be giving him?

Yours sincerely,

****

Little Panda and big brother Warren (then known as Robert), c1973

Felix, Aug 2009

Please sign the petition.

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Serenity Sunday

This week is not so much Serene as "Shut The Hell Up and Behave" Sunday.  Meh.  You get that.

[deep breath] Calm blue ocean...calm blue ocean...  Look! Pretties!:

Lovely things from Etsy Finds today: 

1: Wide Leather Wristband by aos Leather USD$20   

2: Origami Cranes by SnWeStore USD$28

More cool things from another op shop raid.  (No, I never stop).  Vintage doilies, vintage patterns and tracing paper, an oriental paper candy box kit and assorted lovelies.  All this plus 2 cars and a novel for $6.  The Candy Box says "English Instructions Including".  Doesn't bode well.

...and sometimes from sheer insanity.

 This project gave me a little island of serenity yesterday.  I've wanted one for ages. Finally I made one: 

 

I'm now completely obsessed with making more pincushions.  Next on the list is a Ring Pincushion, and then possibly one in a teacup.  Just because.

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The Envelope Project

I love Art Projects.  I especially love Completely Random Art Projects.

Meet Me At Mike's is running an art project at the moment called The Envelope Project.  It goes a little like this:

You mail (by actual snail-mail) an envelope to Meet Me At Mike's with something little in it.  Anything.  Possibly not poo. Anything cute or pretty or lovely in some way. They put all the envelopes up in their store window for 6 weeks.  At the end of the 6 weeks, a name from all participants is drawn at random from the universe and that person receives every.single.envelope AND all.their.contents.

Having been a big fan of posting people random stuff for many years now, even almost-strangers that read my old blog (I posted some awesome stuff to those folks) I am Bang Up for posting a little somethin somethin to lordy knows who.

I aint sayin what I posted, but one was made by me some time ago and just sitting in my scrapbooking basket feeling unloved, one was made by Monkey Boy today, and one was made by an animal.  It is not poo.

If you want to find out how to participate, best look here. Check out the rest of Mike's too.  Miss Pip is the Mayor of Awesome-Town!

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My Creative Space

Crap, is it Thursday again?

A toddler with conjunctivitis means no childcare, no playgroup, no visiting friends, no LIFE.  Also not much time for creativity since she stands at my door and cries "Mumm-mmm-yyyyy cuu-uu-ggg-le" for as long as I can stand it.  Today that would be about 2 minutes.  Sometimes I'm a hard-ass mamma and just let her scream until she stops, but when the kid is sick some stupid maternal thing kicks in.  Probably so we dont inadvertantly kill them with our hard-assness.


I did manage to sneak enough time after my writing group yesterday to stop at my fave op-shop, where they lured me in via a shopping trolley full of handbags for $1. 

Cute little vinyl-lined toiletries bag, looking for a purpose.  How lovely is the fabric?

The Handbag Stash:  Two little bags, the toiletries clutch, a patchwork shoulderbag, and a briefcase thingy.  I've ALWAYS wanted a briefcase thingy.  $5 the lot = awesome

There was some divine oriental fabric, and a chrome 50s chair for $2 and step-stool.  The stool needs re-upholstering, but it was $3!  I clearly remember one just like this in my kitchen when I was a kid.  Of course we had the chrome-leg faux-marble table and chairs to go with it.  We were, like, groovy.

 3m oriental loveliness, 2m coffee velvet, 4 metres soft butter-yellow cotton = $7.

Finally I got around to doing some very simple stuff like changing buttons on a recent 

Boring Brown op-shop cardi.

 and then decided to go uber-nuts and put buttons all over it.

The buttonifying of Boring Brown Cardi will take a while methinks. I dont know what it will look like when its done, but that is where the fun in hand-sewing 3000 buttons lies.

What's happening in your Creative Space today?

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Serenity Sunday

Today's Serenity Sunday is brought to you by the good graces of my friend who lives round the corner.  Aware of my Near-Deathness, she offered to take Felix for the morning thereby halving my stress and doubling the potential serenity-factor.

When you dont have any family and you have a small circle of friends and you live in the Boonies, a break from the kids - even when near death -  is a rare thing indeed.

Monkey Boy and Felix left, and Ella dragged my sorry arse outside, even though it was so cold the rainwater in the toy trailer was still covered with ice and we could see our breath in the air.  Do kids not feel the cold???

I'm glad she did drag me outside, because this is the first thing I saw:

Illuminated Leaf

Discarded.  I think I'll turn this into a planter.

Apple Feast Continues (compare with last week's photo)

Buzzy

Chalk

Chilli

Sshhh!

Warrigal Greens: self-seeder, rampant ground cover, use as you would spinach.  Awesome.

Winter Morning

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12 Months of Crafting The World: Month 1

I've had a little somethingsomething in my list of things to do for a while, but with sewing for the shop and sewing for the kids and occasionally sewing for myself and running a business and being a mum and having an internet addiction, where's the time going to come from? Less Twittering? I.Dont.Think.So.

As mentioned in previous dispatches I need a kick up the butt to do things sometimes. So I pulled this project out of hiding and decided it was the Thing To Do for the Craft Challenge this month. Halfway through the month (practically anyways, especially if you dont count the Sundays) and it still wasnt done. Heaping all kinds of hate upon myself, yesterday I dragged my sick-and-getting-worse self off to the studio and made it happen.

There was some of this:

and some of these:

which became little fuzzy piles of this:

Then there was a bit of this:

and then Monkey Boy and Felix came home with leftover this:

so after I stuffed myself, I stuffed this:

And when I'd done, I was cold and shivvery and had body ache and felt like utter shite and I went to sleep for three hours.  But I'd made this:

In case you are wondering, this is the panda I based my SparklePanda logo on.  I thought I might make some more, maybe to use as keyrings or make him a bt smaller and he could be a magnet or a brooch.  What ya think?

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My Creative Space

Up until very recently, I had been doing all of my sewing in our dining room, in a room with no windows, one recently-added skylight, no storage space and a tiiiiny 1930s table that used to belong to my grandmother.  It was the major thoroughfare of our home and consequently there was much in the way of Lets Annoy Mummy and Getting Pins Stuck in Bare Feet.

Thanks to subtle hints badgering snarly comments from Monkey Boy, we swapped our spaces.  He moved all his Man Cave stuff out of our study and formed a nice little barricaded den for himself in our dining room, and I get the fully renovated, window onto the garden, huge space, walls lined with bookcases, more tables, more storage and with-a-door Good Room!

So while I deal with getting some chest infection thing thanks to taking Prednisolone for too long, and try to muster up the strength enthusiasm giving a rats arse about my contribution to the 12 Month Craft The World Challenge (which I TOTES will share with you soon), here are some piccies of my new Studio.

I've had this Singer since 1982, 1st Year High School.

Setting up for the photo shoot

Floodlights from Bunnings.  Yes, that is a giant inflatable Boxing Po you can see on the floor.

AWESOME therapy tool.

Master Patterns

Vintage button goodness

And my creative work for the day is this Photoshopped image of my craft supplies and tin, all of which I have had since childhood. 

What is your creative space like?  If you feel like sharing where you work and what you're working on you can play along with Kirsty every Thursday at Kootooyoo's My Creative Space.

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Serenity Sunday

Sundays have been stressful around here.  My Significant Other - know to the cyberverse as Monkey Boy - has taken up archery.  Bow Hunting, to be precise, except they hunt creatures made of Styrofoam and hay bales rather than woolly mammoth.  Sunday is Monkey Day, which means that I get left holding the babies.

This wouldn’t be a problem if I were actually capable of holding the babies, but with my spinal injury and now the Disease Most Likely (Ankylosing Spondylitis) affecting my ability to do much of anything physical it is, actually, a problem.

I have dreaded Sundays for a while now, because not only am I having to cope in a situation I am not built to cope with, the kids think the rules go out the kitchen door with Daddy and that means Mummy turns into a screaming banshee and wants to punch herself in the head.

Like I said: Sundays have been Stressful.

NO MORE!

I am going to introduce a new routine to my Sundays!  I read a quote on Twitter* the other day: something about if you don’t like what’s happening, change it, and if you can’t change it then change the way you look at it.  (I would add: “if you won’t do either of these then at least quit your bloody bitching about it.”)

My plan is to turn Stressful Sunday into Serenity Sunday. From today, every Sunday I will grab my camera (that I we paid a small fortune for) and take photos of things that make me happy.  I will futz around with them on Photoshop (which also makes me happy) and then share them with you.  (If anyone is actually out there.  StatCounter says there is, but you’re awfully quiet...)

Hooray for A Plan! 

Here’s what is making me happy today.  I hope some of these images might make you happy too.

A good start to The Plan:  Felix and Ella off to play.

Dew Feather

Decay

A Cat and His Boy

Apple Feast

  Moss 1: 
I particularly love the smooshed bit of blue chalk, not even noticed when I shot this

Moss 2

A Boy and His Stick

The Crab Apple Tree That Never Said "You Killed Me You Bastards"

Wet Bike

Repurposed Garden Boot:  I dont stop at clothing, people!

Tangled Food: eschallots resprouted from our crisper drawer

Totem

Winter Slide

Ella's Pinny Top:  my first draft on the top and first attempt at applique.  Not Too Shabby.

Rocket (Aragula) in potentia.  

After 5 years, we still have it re-seeding through the garden.  And I LOVE Rocket.

Ahhhh.  How's the serenity?

*Smacks self in head for taking advice from twittersphere.

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